If ever you get stuck on this question, I have a suggestion. Visit the Guardian jobs pages. Today's listings for current jobs in Yorkshire and the Humber have a terrific array of jobs, almost all in the public sector of course.
If you want to work in the humbled, squeaky-pipped private sector, expect to battle your way past a government-enforced, rigged selection process (which will ensure you aren't too white) so that you could be in with a shot at a £20,000 a year job for 40 hours a week and about 10 days leave a year.
There are lots of private sector jobs out there these days. Well, there are if you want to work in tele-sales and recruitment (also known as 'Head Hunting'.) Otherwise you're stuck driving vans and entering data on a computer for min wage.
The public sector, however, might be the place for you if you don't mind pumping your brain silly with Orwellian Doublespeak, health and safety jargon (fast becoming a new language alongside English), and stuff about 'diversity'. The diversity stuff is interesting, as it brings with it its own definition of the term which isn't actually diverse at all. But hey, who's watching these days anyway?
So, yes, head on over to the Guardian; I have. It's great. Especially if you don't mind slumming it for a bit on £30-£60 k a year. You know, the small beer jobs before you really get up there with the new 50% rate earners.
There's a great organisation advertising a few roles today. Something called the 'Child Maintenance Enforcement Commission' which of course couldn't possibly be run on a shoe string. They need to entice the best quality and most intelligent workers from around the world, otherwise they'd run off to America or Alderney and sit around sun-loungers in Florida on their iPads earning £500,000 at Deloitte Touche.
Here's one role for the up-'n'-coming, dynamic types:
- CHILD MAINTENANCE ENFORCEMENT COMMISSION |
- Leeds |
- c.£60,000
- CHILD MAINTENANCE ENFORCEMENT COMMISSION |
- Leeds |
- £35,000 - £40,000
- CHILD MAINTENANCE ENFORCEMENT COMMISSION |
- Leeds |
- c£27,000
- CHILD MAINTENANCE ENFORCEMENT COMMISSION |
- Leeds |
- £35,000 - £40,000
- CHILD MAINTENANCE ENFORCEMENT COMMISSION |
- Leeds |
- £30,000 - £35,000
- CHILD MAINTENANCE ENFORCEMENT COMMISSION |
- c£50,000
- CHILD MAINTENANCE ENFORCEMENT COMMISSION |
- Leeds |
- £30,000 - £35,000
- CHILD MAINTENANCE ENFORCEMENT COMMISSION |
- Leeds |
- c £30,000
- CHILD MAINTENANCE ENFORCEMENT COMMISSION |
- £35,000 - £40,000
- CHILD MAINTENANCE ENFORCEMENT COMMISSION |
- Leeds |
- £35,000 - £40,000
But really, it's a shopping basket out there guys. Just roll a dice, assign a job to a number and get applying. Just make sure you can prove you're not a racist, mind. You should ensure you can prove this in interview.
Some extremists out there spoke to me the other day, and mentioned this curious thing about such jobs being bad. They said that the money that funds the salaries come from a group of people called 'tax payers'. Who are these obnoxious, selfish types?
I always thought the money comes from the government, who at the moment are also making extremist and tight-fisted comments about money. Well, bugger them!
Did you know, that if we created more jobs like this, and more important people-caring, diverse bodies, the economy would fix itself. Because there'd be loads of jobs and loads of money going about.
I just hope that the government do the right thing and start printing more money, because if I'm being honest, £50,000 a year isn't a lot of money these days and there should be better pay rises for people.
Actually, that's a damn good idea. I might write to the Guardian and ask if I can write a comment piece about this for 'Comment is Free'. What you reckon?
11 comments:
"There are lots of private sector jobs out there these days. Well, there are if you want to work in tele-sales and recruitment (also known as 'Head Hunting'.) Otherwise you're stuck driving vans and entering data on a computer for min wage."
Funnily enough the recruitment agencies do the recruitment for the call centres who field the call for the recruitment agencies.
Oh, and on this post, this is the replacement for the Child Support Agency.
Child Maintenance Enforcement Commission sounds much harder. Like they'll kick in your doors and boot you up the arse.
What's the odds of this one being any better than the last one?
* Disclaimer, in 1997 the CSA arrested my wages and left me with £28 a month to live on. This was because they cocked up the dates and the claim was taken from the date my daughter was born in 1992 instead of when I split from her mother in 1997. And they wanted all that money there and then. I'm very wary of a government agency that had legal powers that extend beyond the courts.
And to think they used to call the public sector a bit incestuous.
My, how things quickly turn on their heads.
Good comments Shug
I do have to wonder, in light of our recent piece, whether this 'Commission' is something that must be run by the state.
If it must, does it need such extensive powers and funding?
Very odd.
Just done 500 words in answer. Think I probably should start blogging again.
General point, the government now employ so many people that they cannot possibly maintain it all. It's a house of cards that needs to topple. Soon.
You know, you fuckers can write some really good stuff when you're not feuding & fighting with every fucker in cyberspace like the McCoys and Hatfields. Nice one, and if you come back with some sort of a "damned by faint praise" remark, then you can suck my ballbag.
I anticipate a new quango designed to bring awareness about the need for equality and diversity amongst our multicultural society's ballbags.
It will be named 'The Commission for Ballbag Enforcement' and it will safeguard our robust, collective requirements in ballbag love.
I would go for it, but I couldn't possibly be qualified.
Oh, I think you might be. ;o)
Yeah, probably.
That's the thing - the public sector is FULL of jobs like this. Trouble is, they never get wiped because of Big State ineptitude. Clearly, Labour won't do anything except create more of them. But if someone with half a brain does get elected they'll just say "We need to cut public spending." They tell the Big Bods of these Mickey Mouse outfits that their funding is being cut. This leads to the muppets with these jobs saying, "Well, WE (management, Concept Modellers, Diversification Consultants etc) can't go as we're far too important. But we need to save some money. Hey, I know! Why don't we sack some of those minions I get forced to meet every couple of years. What are they called? Oh yeah, Doctors, Nurses, Librarians, Teachers, Cleaners, Roadworkers, Binmen etc. Sack THEM."
There are literally billions that could be saved in true efficiency savings. but no-one has the intelligence to 1) Get rid of the many useless Departments and Quangos and 2) Get inside the ones that are left and say, "Okay, what do you DO? I don't care how high up you are if you can't tell me what you do in one sentence you're gone." This internal pruning would lead to much more efficient public services at a fraction of the current cost. And without the bullshit artists in ther trying to justify their pay we'd get less ill-thought out social enginneering and whizzy plans that fuck everything up. Instead we'd get, well, you know. Nurses, blokes who fill potholes. Stuff like that. Radical, I know but it never happens....
People development manager dies sound freakishly Orwelian 2.0 doesn't it?
As one of those poor sobs who moved from a £20k position with a chemical company to a data input jockey on minimum wage for one of these groups (one that atleast allows me to sleep at night) I can only say you've hit the nail on the head.
We need a Reaganesque firing of the Quangos; if a govt. department finds it can't quite live without a particular function it should be able to fold that role into itself.
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