Black Fucking Lace Re-Release Aga-Fucking-Doo

Not content with generally being a pair of complete tossers who have destroyed the very souls of million of people, Black Lace have decided to re-release their most hideous 'song' ever and shit down the throats of a new generation.

Agadoo, that piece of complete horse shit that destroyed what was left of all that had been achieved in the early 80s and ushered in the era of Yazz and other crap, has been put back out. But it gets worse.

Which cunt do you hit first?

Not content with fucking with our already deranged and depressed minds, it features Les and Curly from Coronation Street. Les even 'directs' the pile of wank. Why? What the fucking hell have we done as a nation to deserve all this?! Make it, send it to Gordon Brown, that's fine, but don't put it on general release!

If they re-release Music Man featuring Ian from Eastenders that will be the final straw, I will be forced to take drastic action for the good of the nation.

The Joy of...'JIZZGATE'

The mainstream papers won't go this far, but bloggers can generally get away with speaking their minds where Fleet Street hacks either can't or won't.

Ladies and Gents, I present to you the Labour government scandal of the, er, next 24 hours.

JIZZGATE

'Cumming in somebody's eye near you...'

Yes, it's all true. We've had cash for questions, cash for peerages, cash for not banning certain types of ads, cash for hubbies that 'don't do 'owt', cash for annoying looking foppish sons with a penchant for buggery, cash for passports, cash for visas, cash for mates, pals, horses, dogs and dodgy foreign sojourns.

But who'd have thought that our politicians would have stooped so low, so lurid, as to fall foul of this latest scandal.

Cash for Bashing the Bishop.

Up until recently, this man was the biggest wanker in the entire world...

...but then along came Richard 'Lady Palm' Timney. When Jacqui goes, his Bono blows.

Believe it or not, I actually fully believe Jacqui Smith when she says she wasn't there at the time and had no knowledge of the fact her husband was buying dirty pay-per-view filth on TV. It's still funny though. And she is, obviously, ultimately responsible.

Tut tut! Huge embarrassments all round and it couldn't happen to a nicer harpie.

But what is slightly weird about Jizzgate, is the fact that the whole scandal surrounds the whole claiming for porn thing - we seem to be forgetting the fact that expenses can only be claimed if the items bought are somehow linked to parliamentary business.

Well, in a strange way, Jizzgate has an air of legitimacy around it, where a very closely linked matter doesn't.

Think about it. Jacqui's off away on business. He's sat around on his fat, prematurely greying arse all day twiddling his nuts and eating ginster's pasties. He gets bored. Bit fed up with wanking off over the usual salacious filth in the Daily Mail, so he spices up his boredom with a spot of monkey spanking over some movies. One could argue, and I would not in a million years, that the husband's 'light relief' was a reasonable outgoing in the duties of a ministerial couple.

Who the fuck can argue that shit about 'Oceans 13' and 'Surf's Up'? Handy clue - no-one. Because watching that shit can't possibly enhance or advance the working partnership of Smith and her husband. Whereas, arguably, winky-twiddling movies like 'Old Guys, Young Thighs' (one of the options on that channel) could have some benefit.

So why is no-one kicking off about these two films? Apart from anything else, what a sign of hideous taste in film.

Adios readers.

P.s. Mr Boatang and Mr Demetriou in no way support or condone the abuse of male genitalia. This means we do not consider it wise to choke the chicken, bash the bishop, spank the monkey, flog the dolphin, whack willy, or engage in 'pupupup' like Dave from Basingstoke (our dear beloved Mail Reader from Hampshire). Particularly, if you are the husband to a government minister.

Weekend Snippets: Thoughts 'n' Ting

Just a few bite sized efforts before I disappear into the nuclear holocaust that is my shower, emerge from my Chernobyl-esque vapour, dress and pop out to enjoy a super-rare treat known as 'blue sky'. Yes, it's true, there's still some of it out there now and I've been typing for a whole 17 seconds! Amazing huh?

The Most Annoying on TV at present:

Holloway is a three part documentary series on life for female detainees at Holloway prison. Here's the details for the 3rd of 3, coming this Tuesday, if you can bare it. Prepare to be annoyed. Very annoyed. Unless you've already seen it, in which case you know what I'm talking about.

As the narrator, in his deathly serious voice, makes comments like 'life is tough for the inmates at Holloway', and 'the regime is strict for the women of Holloway prison', we get treated to the blood boiling and bewildering sight of what the prison is like for those with two eyes and a logical brain (so, not the documentary makers and the narrator then).

The detainees essentially have the life of Riley in there. And this isn't some glib Daily Mail cliche, this is fact. Unlike any other enclosed space in Britain, they have constant access to cigarettes and get to smoke wherever and whenever they want. We see these foul losers plod around all day bored, or, cat fighting and having a bit of a muck about. If something interrupts their dorm room style frolics, the screws get showered with abuse and back chat. They rarely act on this.

You get treated to a 'Through the Key Hole' style glance at the accommodation, which includes rooms fitted with TVs and other luxuries, a fully equipped gym, a swimming pool and other areas of leisure. The 'work' they do, which is basic duties like cooking and cleaning, is paid and they get to spend their cash on any luxury they deem fit. Which is brought in by courier and distributed by the screws who are obnoxiously barked at by the detainees as they look through the gate to see what is theirs. It's almost like the roles are reversed and the guards are locked up and the prisoners running the show.

Last week, we saw prisoners bark at the guards to tell them what was on TV that night. The rules on TV are...there are no rules. These fucking dirty bitches are allowed to watch TV loudly, in their rooms, throughout the early hours of the morning. Unabated. So the guard is stood there reading out the TV listings, and being retorted with annoyance because their ain't much on. Oh well, at least the poor dears don't have to, er, pay the TV License. But seriously though, the regime is 'strict' and 'life is tough'. You heard it on this ITV docu first.

Most annoying of all, some of the prisoners are interviewed by a documentary maker behind the camera: the answers are incredible. One detainee dreads the thought of being let out, because she 'loves it' there. She has 'everything (I) want'. She looked forward to returning, to the camaraderie and atmosphere of the prison.

Another, a gobby cow with a mockney accent, said the place was like 'Hotel Holloway' and she had a fondness for the place.

Marvellous eh? I guess we've satisfied the EU with providing all these rights to the prisoners, but will this actually mean the lessening of crime and the strengthening of society? Bizarrely, I have my doubts.

The Best of the Rest of TV:

I've waited a year, and it's back. The Apprentice. Yes, it's true, I'm one of those people that like the Apprentice. I can't get enough of it. Probably because the show is one of the few outlets out there where realism meets escapism. I can place myself in those positions and imagine how I'd fare in the tasks. In reality, I would probably do badly because the competitors are generally selfish bastards out to stitch everyone else up.

But last week's task, for example, was clearly a piece of piss. How did they not realise the key to winning? If money spent on products was to come out of profits, then the strategy should have been the tight arse approach: spend as little as possible and perform jobs that make less money but where there is a rapid turnover. Which is why the shoe-shining business was the winner idea. Cleaning motor vehicles the length of Europe wasn't. Like.............duh.

But the wrong person got fired. Anita was a dopey bint, but she probably got a bit side-swept by the fact she was amongst a large number of loud, hungry team mates and she only had a bit part to play. There was only one moron responsible for that one, and it was the cantankerous, aggressive bumptious twat bag Mona, who I know for a fact I will despise until such time as she gets Sir Alan's boot.

Deflation my arse

More lies from the government on the rate of inflation and our alleged deflationary environment. While Brown is busy moving the goal posts to try and stop shipping disastrous results (thanks to him getting us into spectacular debt and wanting to artificially erode this debt by making money worth less by printing more of it) we are seeing officially low rates of inflation but in reality, high rates. This is nothing new. We've seen this since around 2001. But it's all the more annoying now our savings are worth jack shit and the pensions are fucked.

So while we hear endless horseshit about deflation and pay cuts and pay freezes, I go down my local supermarket and spot prices of things...increasing! With my own lil old eyes too - tell me readers, am I going mad, or could it be, that 'real' inflation is going up, while interest rates stay at nought and everyone with more than a shred of responsibility in their lives have been met with a fat shaft in the eye?

I do wonder.

Right, I'm off, enjoy the mental image of Gordon Brown's one eyed one eye jabbing at your retina. If I've somehow managed to not hemorrhage half my salary on a bag of cashew nuts and a pack of marly shites at the 7/11 on my stroll back, I deserve medals.

Bye.

The Absurdity of the Anti-PC Brigade

Political Correctness has been raising its head again this week. Its old, Walnut like head that smells a bit like the school canteen, but with a little touch of ozone. It's a strange head to be sure and it makes people want to throw up or lash out. And they do.

And that is the problem.

Here at B and D we are of course not in any way PC. We say naughty words like poo and bottom and we like to let people say whatever they like in the comments. Because we believe in free speech, free thought and the debate of ideas, no matter how repugnant. Some may say this is crazy town silly time, we don't care because those people would be fascist bum faces.

There has been that David 'Get the suitcase from the van' Jason chap, lovely fella that he is (he was in all sorts of things you know, although the height of his career was clearly Danger Mouse), decided that telling a joke about a Pakistani name would be a great idea on the wireless. Now it was pretty harmless, it was no Manning or that tosser Davidson (I love the way he thinks Jo Brand is shit because she is fat, as opposed to just being shit), he apologised and the world carried on its way.

But then the Anti-PC Platoon (they are far smaller than the PC Brigade) became involved, even though there wasn't anything PC about the issue. Comments were made to the effect of the above, but no one demanded he be jailed or anything.

And this is the problem. The anti-political correctness movement are firmly on the Right and therefore see political correctness as of the Left, some even go as far as to say they are from the Frankfurt School and it is therefore Cultural Marxism. Which is absurd.

My view of PC is that it is the curtailing of actions by a minority in fear of offending, well, minorities. The sort of thing you hear of in Lambeth like banning the word Christmas. The anti-PC bunch see it as there duty, however, to be anti-correct. Because the things they bang on about are simply not political. They like to hype up Manning and Davidson for being anti-PC, when they are simply bigoted morons.

I have experienced true, proper political correctness.

I went to an Inner London primary school in the eighties. It was an overwhelmingly Labour Council of the hard liberal lefty weirdo type. The census to this day shows that the Borough is only 25% ethnic minorities, yet they acted like they were 19th century Imperialist slave owners and must be punished for daring to be white and in power.

My Head was a woman. A lesbian with children as it goes. All forms of competition were banned. The cricket nets in our sad little tarmac playground were ripped down and the small team was disbanded. We were allowed to play football at playtime only because the parents went mental when they tried to stop it, but there was no school team despite the fact that many children played for the local youth set-ups of professional clubs. Sports day was banned for about three years.

At PE we did line dancing or maybe rounders if we were lucky. In lessons we were grouped not by year, but two years. So you had year 1 and 2 together then 3 and 4. All in the same class. So you did the same lessons for two years. English was called Language. We were given the choice of what we would like to do, Language or Lego (guess which won). I cannot recall a single religious event in my time there.

How I made it at all in life I have no idea, of my peers I know of only two or three that went on to do anything at all. People I counted as my closest friends as a ten year old I know for a fact ended up in prison. Of course other factors played a part in all this, but a basic well rounded education that wasn't an experiment would have been something at least.

My point is that this is the real politically correct hardcore socialist cultural re-branding that we should fear and resist. We have had it before and I have no doubt it still survives in certain places. But this is not what people who shout 'PC Brigade lefty loons' are talking about. They see any reaction against an event that is not decent as an affront to their right to say what they want.

This is complete rubbish.

They are perfectly entitled to say what they want, but if they say something that is clearly offensive or bigoted then it is everyone elses right to tell them so. It is the later they have the problem with, being told that being bigoted is wrong, or that something such as bigotry even exists. David Jason has said nothing wrong, a bit stupid yes, but no one has an issue with it except a tiny, tiny little faction on the Left, but they react as if what he has said is illegal and therefore he should be applauded for saying it.

Their very actions surrender decency and politeness, basic manners for which they claim to crave, to the Left. They react to a perceived curbing of their right to free speech by abusing that right and becoming ever more extreme and offensive.

EDIT

This in the Mail today is the perfect example of a story utterly out of context and the bizarre reaction of the anti-PC mob. That is, rather than say that yes, screaming at your child is a bad thing but it none of the State's business, they say that screaming is a great thing and that because of this story more screaming is needed!

Australian Grand Prix

The Brawn's have got the front row, but there is a part of me, the cynical git part, that thinks something is up.

Button is, at the end of the day, a very average driver and Rubens, although experienced, is a has been. What they have is clearly a very, very good car. I'm thinking however that they are running a significantly lower fuel load than anyone else in order to get the headlines they now have.

Oh look, Richard Branson has turned up. What spiffing timing.

My tip for tomorrow is Robert Kubica. Second row, good driver, good car, not that far off the pace. My gut says he could get a result.

And just quickly on the BBC. So far, complete rubbish. At the end of the day the people within Formula 1 are some of the most boring people on the planet. Teaming that fun and joy with Eddie 'Twat' Jordan and David 'Zzzzz' Coulthard is bad enough (they obviously don't like each other), but to team it with that idiot that pops up on Match of the Day 2 is just too far!

The 21st Century Media And The Slippery Slope We Are On

The 21st century, ah, what a wonderful thing. More 'Ah' then Bisto, it has given oh so very much. The world wide web has come to fruition, flat screen tellys beam HD pictures through our recordable boxes that allow us to pause live TV, broadband makes using the web easy peasey Lemon squeezy.

Let's not forget the medical advances, the huge efficiencies in modern automotive technology meaning even the worst car on the road is better than 99% of those from thirty years ago, or even the awareness we now have of what we eat and what it does (just think what was in those sausages in the canteen back at Primary school.....sorry, back in mo...).

And yes, ah, the 24 hour news channels times infinity, the loss making slowly dying print industry, the already dead local papers, the news via mobile phone. Let's not forget the blogs of course.

The replacement of news by celebrity, which seemed to actually hit its height a few years back with the zenith of Becks, Jordan and the freshness of Big Brother. Now it is a sad edifice of sand, slowly falling back down before its makers spray it with water and try re-forming it every night. Now they have the death of their greatest achievement and Kerry Katona.

Even the BBC News has 'celeb' as the headline and the format has become so tired that even the weekly magazines struggle to dredge up enough rubbish to thrust upon the public, whether they want it or not.

But in amongst all of this is the worrying trend that, because of this constant now, now, now state of affairs the truth tellers, the reporters and journalists, are becoming ever more false. In the days of print they struggled to make the deadline anyway and admitted as much, now it is non-stop. They cannot possibly do the work needed to prove what they are saying.

Stories that have no basis feed back into the public mindset and then they report on the reaction because the public demands it. Then the government gets wind of a public demand and sets off to satisfy them, hounded and supported by the media as it goes. It is this that leads to absurd policies in crime for instance, or drugs as another example.

The reporters of these stories have no proof whatsoever. As I held up to the BBC earlier this month when they reported an entire article on alcohol and the plans to raise prices to sop binge drinking with no evidence at all, in fact it was a series of reports that had been wholly misrepresented by the SNP and others. But they swallowed it whole and only corrected it when I pointed it out.

Drugs are a prime example. Until the early seventies heroin was dished out on licence by Doctors to a few hundred addicts. Then the media got all fussy and this was curbed. As the years went on the black market boomed and as it did the media demanded more and more action. It got it. We now have hundreds of thousands of addicts causing over 80% of crime and making up a huge majority of the prison population. But still they demand more of the same as the solution.

Heroin being a drug that, if kept up and dosed correctly, has no ramifications of any kind, simply does not warrant this attention. The addicts are addicted, but they look grim because all their money goes to the dealer, they rob to get the money, they prostitute and beg and stab and kill to get the money. It is the consequences of making the drug illegal that cause every one of the problems that the media claim to want stamped out.

Yet this will never be changed, because the day it is suggested to reverse all this, the media will go into full steam ahead, based upon no facts, no evidence, no weight of argument. But no one questions them, swallowing it whole be it cleaner, minister or lawyer. 'This cannot be allowed', 'Something must be done', will be the regurgitated favourites.

As the 21st century progresses, this will become pandemic. In many ways it already has. We will all suffer, not because of the news that no one questions, but the national policy that is formed on the basis of it all.

All-the-time news of any and every possible definition on any format the human mind can create, streamed directly in the human psyche through every possible medium. There is no escape, there is no shelter. No truth.

When people cry about a Big Brother state, they mean CCTV, databases of DNA and sweeping Police powers. What they are missing is the Bigger Brother that is telling them that.

B&D are always right and not just on politics...

We enjoy making predictions and projections on B&D, particularly on politics. It's great to see the fruits of our labour over time, i.e, noticing how we were right all along and how things transpired as we expected.

I was accused of being apocalyptic and ridiculous a year and a half back for describing the future collapse of the economy and for predicting a crash in house prices and an increase in social unrest. People are not so quick to laugh at me now.

Mr Boatang has also been spot on with his comments on Gordon Brown, and he seems to be one of the few people in political comment in this country that continuously gets it right about the N. Labour government.

But we maintain a broad interest in various things in life at B&D. We are keen on music, culture, film, humour and sport. Like our politics, we analyse things and tend to make projections on future patterns.

There are no shortage of those that make predictions, portentous of otherwise. Stockbrokers do it for a living, Fleet Street hacks do it for a living, people who write the horoscopes do it for a living and half of us do it for fun, kudos and kicks.

The difference between us and most others, is that most others are wrong and we are usually right, because we are brilliant and resplendent in ways that 99% of the population can only dream of.

That's life, we deal with it, you have to get over it.

But you can cash in on this amazing fact of life by listening to what the fuck we have to say. As I recently mentioned, Mr B and I are going to start focusing on our ability to be right in making predictions, particularly in relation to football results.

We are big Spurs fans at B&D, and as such, we pay a keen interest in Premiership football. Mr B is a top writer for caughtofside dot com and is recognised in his field. I am more of a silent pundit, who is given pained looks by the bookmakers whenever I enter their premises. Well, who can blame them.

We are massive critics of Mark Lawrenson here at B&D. We think he talks a load of shit and his predictions are nothing short of horrific.

This weekend for instance. Look at the results of this weekend's Premiership matches here.

Now look at what 'Lawro' thought would happen before hand.

What a nob.

But at B&D, we don't make bad predictions. We don't talk out of our arses and we think things through properly before coming up with ideas. For instance, while Lawro was finishing off squeezing one out onto his MS Word document before submitting it to the BBC subs for publishing on his column, I was sitting down looking at the facts and coming up with some proper predictions.

I decided that most of the games were too difficult to call this weekend. I had a feeling that unpredictability would take sway, as many teams this weekend had much to play for and the conflicting pressures would produce awkward results. I was of course right, but that isn't cause celebre itself.

I did, however, put my money where my mouth is on the Newcastle - Arsenal game, and I knew that Arsenal would come to dominate the match and win convincingly, albeit not with a clean sheet.

I knew that the game was at St. James Park, that Newcastle are on a terrible run, and that whilst vulnerable, Arsenal are on the resurgence and can do very well away. Given the lack of injury issues, the fact Arshavin is on fire and that Arsenal are dangerous against teams with piss poor defence, I knew that the score line would be tasty and in Arsenal's favour.

So, I went down the bookies and placed this bet.

The Demetriou wins on his football prediction: proof.

I spread across three possible results, given my analysis, and even though the score was 0-0 at half time, I held the faith and came up trumps.

Why doubt us? This prediction was typical and nothing unusual from my usual standards. The only times I go wrong is when I get influenced by that utter, total toss bag Lawrenson and end up changing my bets to his more 'realistic' efforts - which are almost always wrong.

So from now on, I go with my gut and shoot from the hip.

Watch out for our articles on footy predictions in the next few weeks. I promise that Mr B and myself will be offering our best predictions here, exclusively, on Boatang and Demetriou, in sufficient time for you to go out and invest wisely.

Adios, readers.

Tony McNulty Defends His Expenses Claims

Good old Tony McNulty, Labour's latest attack dog in the Charles Clarke mould (that is, he talks mainly shit, but does it in an aggressive way so that people just back down), has somehow managed to blag his way out of the newest bit of Labour expenses cheating.

We all remember the simply lovely Jacqui Smith and her total shit excuses that got her off don't we?

So, what has this tosser been up to then? Well, his parents live in a house in Harrow, nothing wrong there, except their beloved son also happens to be the MP for Harrow East. His actual family home is 8 miles away. Until January he used his parent's house two or three times (love the vague number of days a week there) for constituancy business, therefore he claimed it as a second home and the love lumps of cash that he threw at the mortgage. But this line on the Beeb is a classic:

He stopped claiming the allowance in January because interest rates had fallen so much that he could afford to pay the mortgage from his MP's salary.

Well Tone, what a stroke of fucking luck eh mate?

The Mail on Sunday broke the story and gets a good shoe in of course, so good for them (credit where credit is due). I cannot stand this bloke and his nasty attack, attack, attack mentality from his bullshit Employment Minister position.

He has claimed the best part of £60,000 from the taxpayer for a house that is lived in by his parents and is 8 miles from where he bloody lives! To clarify for people overseas, Harrow is about the same distance from the Houses of Parliament as I am right now from my monitor. And where is his main family house? 3 miles from Westminster. The guy simply has no claim to this money, but it gets better:

"I have said these things need to be looked at, there are anomalies."

Anomalies this bastard was more than happy to open up and take to town!

This guy is taking the piss and needs to be taken down a peg or two, along with all the other scum who take the public for a ride. He even says that he took a mortgage out on the house in 2001 to pay off some debts. Er, so a MP with debts who then took a mortgage out to pay them and then claimed the expenses from the people to pay the mortgage.

So we're paying your 'debts' Tony?

Tony? Hello?

He seems to have gone.

It's a beautiful day, so what the fuck am I doing writing on my blog?

Daily Mail rhetorical question headline of the day, plus the swear words.

What AM I doing here, when I cost the tax payer money and am slightly foreign?

That's more like it. Serious though, it's lovely out there, so I'm off out to enjoy some of the fleetingly good weather this country can experience when various planets collide and certain particles come together in a nano-molecular format to force the clouds back for 5 seconds.

Bloggers spend far too much time sat around jacking off in their pants, and whilst I don't fit this precise description of your average blogger, I know a lot do - probably you. So shut down your PC and get out for a nice spring time walk.
and
A quick note - I'll probably pop into my bookies to have a go at some live football outcomes and later's Newcastle - Scum match.

Here's what I'll be ignoring, because he is a cunt - Lawro's predictions on the BBC.

I see that, as I expected, the Portsmouth - Everton game is clearly not going to end up 0-0 as the nob end said it would. Everton are leading.

Lawro has infuriatingly and gutlessness predicted Spurs 0 - Chelsea 2. Bet you that won't happen. And he has predicted Liverpool 2 - Villa 0. That's a load of bollocks too. Always the same. Strong team he has for 2 goals and a weaker team none. Why? Where's the skill in that?

I noticed his strong prediction of a 0 - 0 with the Man Utd Liverpool match earlier in the week was slightly off too. What with it ending 1-4 and all.

So, if you want to come out of the bookies and not be entirely broke, ignore Lawro.

Mr B and I plan to set up a page every week where we make proper Premiership predictions based on proper analysis and review. Unlike some Liverpudlian wank-heads we know.

The Josef Fritzl case: And I thought the English Criminal Justice System was a joke

Am I the only person in the entire world to have noticed something very wrong about the Fritzl case, other than the detail of the charges for which the defendant was found guilty earlier today?

The press has started to dissect the case and analyse it - which is important, and not all of the discussion misses the point. This is a good Times piece which looks at the issues concerning Fritzl's ability to evade the law over the course of several decades, during which he was obviously on the rampage.

But my concern is slightly different. Austria appears to have a justice system which is even more limp and pathetic than the English one, and that really is saying something.

The reason why the prosecution had such a hard-on for the murder charge, above the others, was because unless they nailed the cunt on the death of the baby he stuck in the fire, he'd be given a piss weak sentence - even if he were found guilty of some of the worst crimes known to man.

I've been trying to dig up the news source I read earlier which detailed the maximum sentences for rape, massive coercion, imprisonment, incest and so on, but I can't find it. But I recall reading that Austria has a maximum sentence of 4 years for rape, 1 year for incest and about a year for massive coercion.

"Quick, give me that blue folder, I don't want the judge to see me when I piss myself laughing at the sentence I'm about to get LOL!!!11!1111!!!!!"

And murder? The golden chalice the prosecution was after? Between (get this)...10 to 20 years.

I am utterly amazed at the leniency and limp-wristedness of these sentences. According to news sources, Fritzl could be up for parole in 15 years. Er, hang on? He forcibly fucked and raped his daughter with toys for 24 years, locked her in a horrific dank cell, fathered 7 kids with her and totally destroyed all their lives. He was responsible for the death of a small boy and he deprived the liberties of humans in the worst circumstances, yet this old cunt could feasibly be up for parole and could conceivably see the light of day once more.

And what if he didn't have his 'change of heart' (bullllllshit was it -he simply couldn't be fucked with carrying on with trial) and what if he didn't get done for murder on reasonable doubt? We'd be talking about, what, 5 years? 7 years? If that?

So, in Austria, you can basically commit thousands of crimes, aspire to become the sickest motherfucker that ever lived since their last export to the world, and even then, after you've pleaded guilty and the jury still goes ahead to deliberate, and you're sentenced, you can simply disappear for a short spell in some clean, efficiently serviced room for a few years and be out in time to catch the next football World Cup in your local bar.

What is the fucking point? You may as well not bother with the whole process. Where is there any justice is such piss poor sentencing? It's a fucking insult. Where is the deterrent here? There just isn't any.

Just abolish prisons, courts, police, the whole fucking lot and give people the tax money so they can buy their own problem solvers. May as well. Out of a choice between a pussified, bitchy legal system and total, anarchic vigilantism, it's a no brainer. Pass me the fucking Smith and Wesson, you bunch of fucking cocks.

Some late week observations

Spring time, Summer time and making living easier

Some positive thoughts making a rare occurrence on the Demetriou mindscape. Tomorrow is the first day of Spring and for once in this god forsaken miserable dank shit hole of a country, we've been having some good weather of late. Which makes a change, as it's been a bleak anti-climactic piss shower since around, I don't know, 2003.

It's nice to drive to work in the morning and have the window down (always helps to get my vocal abuse across to the intended target - why waste it on the radio DJ?) It's also nice to breath fresh air that tastes of something other than wet tarmac. We're getting some blossom out there, and I don't necessarily have to dress like a serf on Mount Kilimanjaro every day. Just the three layers of clothing at the moment - fucking cashback.

Long may the weather keep up and long may the day's grow longer.

For our American readers, you might want to ignore my miserable whining about this country for a minute and remember that buried amidst the banality and shite of modern Britain lies culture and history and stuff to see, particularly in London and also National Trust and heritage sites dotted across the land. Take advantage of the fact that for a little while window of time, your currency is no longer Mickey Mouse joke money and actually buys shit now. The exchange rate is something to take advantage of, particularly as cheap flights abound. So get over here and experience the non-existent standards of customer service and the 'sticks up their asses' snootiness of people, whilst trying to ignore all that and visiting places like the National Portrait Gallery and the National History Museum.

For our British readers, something slightly different. As B&D readers, we expect you not to be the sort of chavvy scumbags that fly abroad to the usual Spanish destinations for some mindless egg and chip and San Miguel fest. We assume that you look for something a little more sophisticated than your bullshit Sun Reader fare.

And so if you like to cobble your own proper, decent, interesting holidays together to interesting places in Europe, and you want to save some money in the bargain, be mindful of the fact that Hedge Funds have been seriously short selling the Euro these last few weeks. The Euro is expected to dive in value over the next three months. So, like me, stall on buying your currency for your summer trip away and wait till around June, July, by which time (fingers crossed) you might get away with paying only 70-75 pence per Euro. This would beat parity, which is the joke we have now.

Keith Vaz & Tax on immigrants

Truly amazing. I was watching Channel 4 news earlier, and I saw Keith "bent as a 9 bob note" Vaz give a valiant defence of a political position against a tax on individuals. A Labour politician, arguing against tax.

Sanjit was going to come to Britain in order to study medicine for 5 years at Sheffield Hallam University and begin a lucrative career in the NHS, but then he heard he had to hand over this note - so he went back to herding goats instead.

Except, we're talking about a tax on immigrants. So, naturally, the rules of the game change and suddenly it's bang out of order to ask for money to pay for shit. Of course, asking £50 per immigrant in order to cover some costs is an outrage. Why do that, when we should be tapping the citizenry instead? Get your priorities right, government! What do you think you are, a state body that represents and serves the people or something?

Natasha Richardson and the 'family curse'

We at B&D try and keep some semblance of taste and decency to our work. We are honest, angry, brutal and open in our alternative views, but we don't gloat over people dying.

Though it did occur to me today whilst flicking through the Hate online and reading about the so called Redgrave/Richardson 'family curse', the desperate lengths the gutter media will go to in order to drum up sensationalism and bullshit to sell papers. I mean, there's some poignancy to the whole Kennedy family curse, but what's this shit about some mediocre family of 'actors'?

If any curse exists, it is this: that anyone should be born to, or in anyway related to, that utter fucking communist piece of shit Vanessa Redgrave. Sorry, but if that scum bag was my mother, I'd consider that sufficient evidence alone of a hideously cursed life, even if the entirely of my existence was blessed with nothing but peace, prosperity, endless orgasmic sex sessions with coconut milk offering nymphs on exotic desert islands and longevity.

Generation Sexting:The Mail Goes All A Quiver

An article today in the Mail, or hate filled rag as it is known to many, was all about teenagers getting up to, well, porn basically.

Penny Marshall lists off how well off teenagers are filming themselves, get ready for this, in their underwear, or even - gulp - naked and posting it on utterly pointless sites like MyFace and BooBoo. Apparently they do this for laughs and to get attention.

The Mail uses a picture of a pornstar as the link in order to really get Dave from Basingstoke pupping away over his cornflakes this morning, but I have had to wait to read this article until getting home from work because I might have been sacked if the picture was a true indicator. What does that say about this family paper?

However, the porn pictures are dropped as Penny goes into a middle England frenzy over the 'issue'.

She repeatedly talks about her little chats with sixth formers who talk frankly about posting the pictures of themselves and the parties they have gone to. Now, I'm a cynical fucker and my first thought was 'Yeah right you spotty gimpoid, go to gangbangs a lot with your best mate's bird do you?'. Penny seems to have taken the wet dream of a group of dickheads who are put forward, clearly, by the school for the interview a little too seriously.

And it is widespread amongst the UK population too. A whole 90 'children' have been cautioned. Woah there Penny, you might stumbled on the great seething mass of sex the average male Mail reader desperately wants to be real.

Joking aside, the sexual exploitation of children is obviously a very serious issue. However, many of these kids are 17 and, although illegal, we're not talking 8 year olds here. Although Pen does mention some cases of this, I would be looking more at the paedo side of the law than the morals of social networking on FaceSpace.

The real problem with the article is that it is designed to stir up fear in the 'burbs rather discussing problem, a problem that is hyped by a paper hell bent on sensationalism and a few twatty teens taking the piss out of reporter.

Thus, at no point does it have a go at the parents.

The parents are not some group of naive pricks who have no idea what the web is and thinking saying 'online' makes the sound cool. These kids are, in the main, about 17. That means a date of birth of about 1992, add in an average of say 30 for having a sprog, and the parents are currently in the region of 45-50 and spent would be well versed in the computer from work.

At the dawn of time (that's 2000 according to most news sources) these parents would have been about 37 or so. This is full blown web explosion, dot com boom, Apple are really cool, beginning of broadband time.

My point is that these parents are not coming up to retirement and they have spent most of their working lives on a computer and have had one at home for probably ten years.

They know how it fucking works.

They are more than capable of setting up parental controls to stop little Sophie (almost certainly Sophie, every girl born between 1990 and 1999 is called Sophie, it's a fact) from looking at dirty nasty porn. They are also perfectly capable of not giving their 10 year old a fucking mobile fucking phone with more features than the fucking shuttle.

But they don't. They've given them phones with web access and cameras, they have given them a computer in their room and Sky on the telly. Most of these parents have no idea what their kids get up to online or by phone.

And let's not forget here, 17 year old Sophie is not filming herself cracking open a couple of mates or been gangbanged, she's posting pictures of herself in a bra on her profile. The population of Basingstoke would like to think the former and usually do whilst eating their Crunchy Pops.

Stupid? Yes. Naive? Yes. Will come back to haunt them big time? Oh yes.

But also spoilt, ignorant, bored and neglected by parents who think that phones and Macbooks are a substitute for being there for their kids.

The Hate doesn't want to say that of course, a bit too close to the truth for most of its readership.

That sweaty spud Pete Doherty does something good for once

Hats off to Pete Doherty, who in his own little way stuck two fingers up at our modern, boring, coddled authoritarian society.

According to the 'Current Bun', he refused to end a gig at a Southampton venue, and carried on playing for nearly half an hour even after bosses turned the lights out.

And even better than that, he sacked off the smoking ban and lit up, offering to forfeit his fee for the pleasure.

We need more acts of defiance like this from high profile figures. People need to wake up and realise that it's no way to run a society, hemming everything within heavily proscribed boundaries and basically allowing authority to take the dominant position over the people.

If an artist wants to play a little longer, it's his fucking gig, let him play and sort out the details later.

And as for the smoking ban, any supporters of that fucking joke can purse their lips tentatively round the outermost curvatures of my sweaty bell end - and get sucking. Fascist cunts.

Some thoughts on a Tuesday night

Hello, readers.

The hectic lifestyles of the Boatang & Demetriou magical duo have led to a slackening off of updates these last few days or so. But fear not, we'll be back on form soon enough.

Despite the various changes in aesthetics, design, style and content of B&D, as we continue to fine tune ourselves towards the closest fit to perfection, some things never change round here.

Mr B and I remain convinced and committed to our (sometimes slightly differing) beliefs in moderate Libertarianism. We are strong in our conviction that the best way forward for this country is for it to abandon its addiction and dependence on a strong, authoritarian state. We think that a free people is one that is not heavily taxed or dictated to by government.

We think New Labour under Brown has been a serious mistake. I can't speak for Mr B here, but for me, I think that the best thing for Libertarians to do when the general election comes is (if there is no Libertarian candidate in your constituency) to vote Tory.

This does not mean I am a Tory, or much of a 'conservative'. I don't think the Tory Party has been 'conservative' in the Edmund Burke style for a long, long time. Well before the war. It has been a foppish and gutless slightly more right leaning version of Labour. Thatcher was a blip, and I am concerned that Cameron may wind up being a slightly more good looking version of Ted Heath. 'Useless', perhaps, as Peter Hitchens may say.

But I do believe that in politics, it is important to vote and it is important to vote for 'the least worst option'. That is what the Tories are. The least worst option. The far from perfect, dodgy, pretty useless and gutless yet least worst option.

If more people on the Libertarian Right took my position, then a Tory government would inevitably come to value and listen to this political faction and alter their policies accordingly. If enough Libertarians voted and swayed it for the Tories, it could be that the Party would move away from its more authoritarian roots and would concentrate on being a classical Liberal Tory party with a 'conservative' streak within it. Sort of like Thatcher's Tories, except with the necessary fire to deal with the welfare, public sector and underclass problems.

If, as it may well turn out (in fact almost certainly it will), that the Tories remain convinced that to win elections they must creep leftwards in a strategy of 'triangulation' (which I detest and oppose) then I may decide that the 'least worst option' strategy is not viable in the long term. The Tories can only remain such an option, if they actually offer a viable and discernible alternative to New Labour. Cameron worries me, as he is spectacularly hooked on this 'must be like Blair to win' folly. Given that New Labour was all image and based on a lie, this is very concerning.

But what is very, very urgent at this current time is that Brown is ousted and Labour replaced as soon as possible. We'll deal with the 'uselessness' of Cameron's Tories later, but that is a battle for another day.

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Film

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Clint Eastwood in 'Gran Torino'. He's almost as grumpy as me, on a good day.

On a different, less political note, I went to see an amazing film the other day. It comes 100%, 5/5 Demetriou vetted and sponsored. Do go and invest your money at the Odeon wisely.

The film I refer to is 'Gran Torino' featuring the legend himself, Clint Eastwood.

Gran Torino really caught me by surprise. The acting is superb, the plot and pace of the film is beautifully spun, much like a fine cashmere. You will both laugh and cry. You'll question yourself, examine your ideas and be awoken to some harsh social realities. I won't turn this into any form of spoiler, as I hate it when I read something that ruins the beauty of a film before I've had the chance to see it. But really, do see it and post back on here and tell me what you thought.

This film succeeds where 'About Schmidt' abjectly failed. For Gran Torino is not a morbid depressing pit of shite, it is a fucking cracking film that'll get your pulse up in a way that shoot' 'em up action movies just can't.

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Authoritarians trying to tamper with laws on alcohol

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Devils Kitchen did a cracking article on Sir Liam Donaldson's report. His comment sums up my own thoughts, except far better. Though equally as angry. I am delighted to learn that the proposals to set a minimum price for booze has been dropped, as even the fascist 'liberals' in government have realised that to do so would be an act that would punish a large majority of (voting) drinkers who wouldn't be best pleased with paying more for rip off booze.

What is important is that Libertarians don't let this matter drop, even though the government may have let it 'drop'. It could be that as the public are continually softened up with authoritarian, bullshit patronising measures, Donaldson's ideas might become more 'palatable' or possible in a few years. It;s entirely possible that this bullshit of forcing shops to put minimum tariffs on booze might come to pass in a few years time.

Look what has happened to smoking and our insane health and safety regulations. I believe anything is possible. The population is swelling with an ever increasing number of welfare addicted idiots who literally 'belong' to the state. They are PNWED by it, and only seem to pipe up when the dummy is temporarily taken from their gobs. How can we move forward if there are less people in society that truly love freedom and individuality? Little wonder that the only private enterprise doing a roaring trade out there now is Greggs fucking bakers.

Bizarrely, the people that keep Labour in government are the same people that give spawn to those that are out on the streets and town centre bar circuits destroying their bodies with shitty cheap booze, clogging up the NHS and being a general pain in the arse.

If these cunts end up costing me yet more of my hard earned dollars, then I can see my little book of Grudges requiring some surplus blank pages to fill. This country makes me fucking despair, it really does.

The Islamic Luton Protests: Labour are at it again

Labour MPs simply do not know when or how to stop their incessant crusade against free speech.

As readers will know, from my recent article on the demos against the homecoming parade of soldiers in Luton, I had strong words to say against multiculturalism and unbridled immigration, but I defended the right of any protester to give vent to their feelings through the medium of free speech.

I never question the ultimate and fundamental right of free speech of humans.

But what's this bit of news in the Times today? According to the piece, describing the views of the 'Labour' MP for Luton South, Margaret Moran:

“I am absolutely disgusted with the demonstration by a small number of extremists linked to al-Muhajiroun. It is not representative of Luton," the MP said on BBC Radio 4's Today programme.

She added that she had been left surprised that police had authorised the protest, which caused clashes involving those who had come out to welcome the troops.

"I am a bit stunned that the police agreed to this kind of demonstration, with pre-prepared banners calling the Army ’baby-killers’ and the like, which were designed to provoke and cause disturbance," she said.

So let me see. (Yet another) Labour parliamentarian finds something disagreeable and disgusting, therefore, it should be banned by the State (the police acting on behalf of the State). Anyone spotting any trends here at all? You will have done if you've been watching the news over the last 12 years.

A "bit stunned", said the arrogant cow, that the police "agreed to this kind of demonstration" (nice use of language there, like the word 'agreed', like there'd have been a nice fluffy consensual conversation about it between Plod and Mr Demo Organiser). What's the world coming to, where it's seen as perfectly normal for MPs to come out and talk about curtailing free speech in such flippant and casual terms without challenge?

Just because someone finds something distasteful or with potential to cause provocation, doesn't mean it should be banned; doesn't mean people shouldn't be allowed to go out and speak their mind. It's called democracy you arrogant Stalinist cunts. Go fuck yourselves - who do you think you are?

I'm sick of this fucking shit. I despise and disagree with the sentiments and politics of these Islamists just as much if not more than most people in this country. That's a separate matter.

On the logic of Margaret Moron, we ought to ban supporters of opposing football teams meeting up at football stadiums and surrounding streets, in fact we ought to ban football matches, as all this is likely to lead to foul behaviour and incitement. Pretty much scenes that Britain has been used to for the last 4 decades.

Where do you draw the line? What is acceptable?

This country is a joke. And the buck doesn't necessarily stop with New Labour legislation and politics over the last decade or so, although this has been a serious issue. We've had it for centuries. Despite what idiot 'conservatives' say about the need to go back to the good old days of common law and Magna Carta (nothing wrong with these institutions per se), this country has suffered immeasurably in my view due to the fact that we don't have a proper enshrined constitution.

It's why politicians have been allowed to grandstand over the people so stridently and curtail freedoms, it's why we find ourselves having to go cap in hand to the European Court to get any kinds of rights enforced.

Look at our ancient libel laws for instance. Totally and utterly outrageous, ridiculous and draconian. A massive inhibitor of free speech. Yet there's nothing we can do about it. So you get the increasing tendency in our coddled, surveillance society, where the rights of the powerful and the elites are more important than those of the free thinking individual. So whatever you do, don't go on chat forums and criticise your football team's management. And don't say anything that might lead you owing several London property values worth of debt for life.

Bloggers, protesters, anyone with alternative ideas are either seen as trouble making defamers and upstarts that must be crushed or they are seen as potential terrorists.

The tipping point will come when the State overplays its hand one too many times and the lid to the dissident pot explodes.

I have to ask what it will take for the people of this country to finally gain the rights and freedoms they deserve.

State intervention is wrong and robs people of choice

It seems that Milton Friedman was right. State intervention causes fuck ups in the free market, and the instincts of government in dealing with fuck ups is to instigate more state intervention.

We are now seeing the cycle on full spin. The tax paying public are in for a very wet ride indeed.

Readers of ours should be aware of the B&D stand-point on economics and the reasons we ascribe to the current financial meltdown. But recent developments require further B&D Towers analysis.

We all know that the best solution out there to the problems is the one most ignored by self-serving States. Tax cuts.

Rather than tax cuts, what we see now is ever increasing and reckless rampant borrowing. This means the people will have to shoulder the burden of an ever increasing tax take in the future, which means the people will be less empowered, less free and more in hock to the State. We will be completely at the mercy of quasi-socialist governments within the next decade, and it'll only get worse from there.

If you've been keeping tabs on the news, you'll have noticed this story here about a plan to adopt a German idea of paying people two and a half grand to scrap their cars, on the condition they buy a new one. The media have been reporting this plan in a very positive light, without exploring the downsides to this very worrying idea.

OK, a short term fix will be an increase in car trades and money for the car industry. But how short sighted and arrogant is this plan? If this government goes ahead with this further tinkering with the free market, I can only see ever more of this sort of thing - because the people don't seem to appreciate (probably after years of brainwashing socialism) that if the government hands out that sort of money to new car buyers, the national debt will climb even further. Who pays that? We do. And by 'we' I also include people who might not want a new car or people who don't drive. Ergo, it's social and economic tinkering and it's morally unfair and counter-intuitive.

It's a shit plan. I keep saying it over and over - cut taxes on businesses and individuals and see the benefits and the moral flourishing of freedom.

A country that is half the land of my birth is no different, in fact worse, when it comes to quasi-socialist government intervention.

Again, this situation has been able to take place, because the people are ill-educated in various ways and degrees, and because they are used to sucking the milky teat of nanny state. To not know any better and not appreciate the power and value of the free market is to everyone's downfall.

I'm talking about Cyprus.

I read an article in the Cyprus Mail today and the lead story both astounded me and annoyed me. The article is entitled "Minister Admits Consumers Being Ripped Off" and the opening two paras go thus:

CONSUMERS are being ripped off by prices which are as much as ten per cent higher than they should be in some cases, Commerce Minister Antonis Paschalides said yesterday.

The Minister promised during a news conference to mark World Consumer Rights Day today that his ministry would try to take firmer action to combat profiteering by retailers but admitted the scope was limited in a free market economy.

OK, so we have established what I knew for years about the island. People are getting ripped off badly in shops and supermarkets. But 'hang on', I thought, while this may be the case, the people only have themselves to blame. Because there are different shops and supermarkets owned by different companies. There is no monopoly. So if everyone behaved like normal, vaguely sentient beings in a free market economy, and shopped at the cheapest outlet, this would surely lead to competitive price cutting and fairer prices in the long term as outfits competed for trade?

In an upside down world (yes, this is what it is like over there, trust me) it takes a government minister to come along and blame artificially high prices across the board on the 'free market economy'.

Something is very wrong here.

But it gets worse. The article continues...

"The only legal provisions currently available for
controlling prices relate to fuel and liquid gas. However, we are seriously
examining the issue, and have asked for the law to be amended, so that the
Ministry can issue ordinances for other basic goods,” Paschalides said.

When he was invited to comment on the fact that Cypriot milk was the
most expensive in Europe, the Minister replied that a complaint was being examined by the relevant authority, which would take a view on the issue.

“We are not happy with the prices of certain food and drink products being sold in supermarkets. There is no excuse for prices to go up by six, seven or even ten per cent, especially not now. Not only should some products not be more expensive, they should be cheaper, and some of them much cheaper.”

Unbelievable, right? On the face of it, a total and utter indictment of the failure and destructive effects of the free market. An argument for an even more rampant version of State intervention and Keynesianism than we have here in the UK at present. People like Brown and his EU buddies will warm to trends like this as time goes on.

But it's a fallacy. A complete nonsense. The reason why people are getting ripped off out there, is that the village-peasant Cypriots (barely evolved from their former days as farmers and ill-educated goat herders) accept and tolerate whatever is thrown at them by the new elite of capitalists. Or arrogant spivs as I refer to them.

It's worth looking at societies and how they react in different economic environments and the reasons behind those reactions. 30 years ago, Cyprus was a 2nd - 3rd world country of village peasants. Within a few short years in the 80s, the country rapidly and massively transformed. Lots more rich people, who made it through luck and good weather, and a lot of stupid not so rich people dependent on the state and generous family networks for support. The individual is not a developed notion, unless we're talking about a crude 'Loadsa Money' caricature, but that scene is foundering in the current economic and crisis and the island's disastrous tourism collapse (thanks in part to the Euro and years of pegging the old Cyprus pound to that currency).

People are told "this loaf of bread will be two Euros". The answer will be nonchalant, vacant "OK", followed by an unquestioned payout. In more advanced, developed and educated societies, if you went into a shop and the bloke asked for £2 for a loaf, you'd likely tell him to do one before funding out the cheaper places and getting the same product for less. Why do you think we have such a competitive free market over here (still, just about) and why do you think supermarkets are able to offer such good deals? Why do you think sites like www.moneysavingexpert.com and www.comparethemarket.com and www.moneysupermarket.com are so popular? These sites wouldn't last five minutes in Cyprus, because the people are backwards and stuck in an old, quasi socialist, partly colonial paradigm.

A spoon fed, state dependent and accepting, unquestioning society is a trapped and enslaved one.

If more Cypriots said "fuck you you greedy cunts" and set up co-operatives and farms that undercut the opposition, prices would soon fall. if people hunted down the best deals, the picture would soon alter. When I lived there, everywhere was a rip off, yet there was no evidence of a monopoly. Therefore businesses pretty much knew they could charge 'x' and get away with the blue murder.

Yes, people are griping more. But the gripes are misdirected. The people are griping to the government for help. Fuck off. They should not be griping to anyone, they should be getting smart, getting clever, using that 'free market' to the best of their abilities and cunning.

Over here, more people and businesses turn tot the state for answers and it's wrong and stupid. But I guess when the government holds all the aces, and they have the final say, then there's not much certain outfits can do but play ball.

If they won't free the people and give us tax cuts, we will be ever more dependent on nanny's teat.

More's the fucking pity.

Coffee Taster Gets Insured At Costa

The Chief coffee taster at Costa has had his tongue insured for £10,000,000 according to the Beeb.

Gennaro Pelliccia spends all day eating raw coffee beans before roasting in order to test their quality, he says "In my profession my taste buds and sensory skills are crucial... and allow me to distinguish any defects".

Kevin Boatang, of London, asked pointedly "In that case, can you explain to me why you haven't detected the defect in my cup of Costa, that being it tastes like shit?".

This appears to be unanswered for the time being, although it is hoped that the board of Costa realise that they are fooling no one with this bizarre claim that every batch of their shitty, tasteless, mole crap after a month coffee is tested, let alone by someone with a furred up mouth snake worth ten million of the Queen's face.

Boatang's tip for Mr Pelliccia: Try tasting the beans after roasting you fucking moron, then you know what the coffee will actually taste like in the cup, rather than what it tasted like on the branch.

The Luton Protests, Muslims in Britain and Civil Unrest: My Views

T'was indeed a very worrying affair today in Luton, Beds. A homecoming parade of soldiers ambled its way through the streets of the town, to be met with chants and yells of protest from a small band of militant Muslims. They held aloft placards and were held back by police. See the BBC article here, which contains footage and a report, including a Labour Party spokesperson reaction (from Bob Ainsworth).

This is important, because it is a small yet highly portentous event and I don't see things like this calming down. I can see them hotting up.

As the footage depicts, the supporting, welcoming contingent of Brits who waved flags in support of the soldiers were livid at the Muslim demonstrators. I believe their reaction to this event is enormously reflective of how increasing numbers of British people, particularly indigenous English people, feel about those who apparently arrive in Britain and 'abuse the hospitality' that is there to be enjoyed.

In short, people are seriously starting to get pissed off at what is increasingly coming across as a fifth column of hateful, angry, extreme and belligerent minorities, particularly from the Muslim community.

You only have to look at the comments on the article on this event on the Mail to see a sample of how tempers and feelings can run high. Of course, readers of B&D are fully aware of what I think about the Mail and its readers, but I do believe that it is not just Mail readers who are getting steamy under the collar about a perceived alien take over of Britain.

Multiculturalism has managed to take number one spot as Britain's most dividing political frontier. It is the hottest of potatoes. It is the one issue that could, when connected with other issues like crime and the economy, lead to widespread civil unrest and disorder.

Of course, the numbers of people at the Luton protest are tiny. But this does not mean that, politically and sociologically, the effects of certain types of immigration and politicised multiculturalism in our modern world are light. Whether perceived, real, large or small, these events will continue to hit the news and the footage speaks for itself. The reported crimes and dysfunction in communities up and down Britain (Blackpool, Dewsbury, Bradford, Birmingham, East London, Leicester) are not ignored.

Earlier this decade, we saw a spate of race riots in Northern England.

I think that because of bad government policy on immigration and multiculturalism, combined with the cultural differences of certain Asian communities mixed with the UK welfare state system, along with a crushed economy, rising unemployment and widespread disenchantment with the modern liberal left, we are set for a future of simmering race relations and civil strife.

Without meaning to sound too chicken little, I strongly believe that it is in the best interests of Muslims in Britain today to be careful of how they behave in public. Not because they ought to curtail their free speech, but because it just isn't a very good time at the moment to run around being offensive and insulting to the people of this country. Blowback is on its way, if stuff like this carries on.

I was an immigrant once - years ago I left Britain and lived abroad for a couple of years. I was the guest in a foreign country and behaved as such, living by foreign rules, cultures and customs. If I behaved there, as some people see fit to behave here, I would have eventually been seriously vilified.

But Britain has always been like this, it's nothing new really. We've always been the country to apologise to the bloke who knocks us off our stride as we walk down the steps of the underground station. We are the country that says sorry to the woman who spills hot coffee on our lap and walks nonchalantly by. I suppose, in a weird way, we wouldn't be British if we didn't have this strain of absurd self-deprecation and self-abasement in the way we go about life.

It seems such a shame that in acting as we do as a nation, politically speaking, the people who suffer most are regular ordinary folk and the honest democracy-loving citizenry.

BBC Makes Error In LibDem Article

The BBC has a bit of coverage in its usual shitty way about the LibDem thingy party that about 42 people vote for and therefore really doesn't require any sort of comment at all. However, I have spotted a small error:

Like most young adults it wants to put a cool distance between itself and the older generation - to be seen as the bolshie anti-establishment party that
challenges the status quo and is rude about what has gone before.

I've already emailed them, but I would urge you to get involved. This is clearly from the article about Boatang and Demetriou and has slipped in by mistake. Silly-billy Beebies!

Now time for something bolshie and anti-establishment: Fuck them all.

Politics is a Red and Black affair...

Many, many years ago came the era of The Big Change, where the main political parties of old (Tory and Labour) crumbled, self imploded and disappeared into the ether that was Westminster. A Westminster of fog, smoke, burning effigies and pyres and dead men laying in the windswept streets.

Of course first came the onslaught. The invasion of rigid regiments of health and safety bureaucrats, non-job pen pushers and local government apparatchiks, pouring down Whitehall like zombies with the rage virus. They came from all over the country. Briefly, they held aloft the filthy flag of authoritarianism. It wasn't long before we were saved and that flag was torn asunder and rammed up the arseholes of the traitors and dicta-crats.

Then we, well. We kind of got what we have now. A two party system based on the true political beliefs of humans.

On the one side you have the Anarchist Party, whose spiritual and historical grandfather was George Orwell, and whose fire and brimstone inspiration is Noam Chomsky. The famous yellow-toothed sage of old, who used to fill auditoriums of young people over a hundred years ago, yet who for some strange reason never managed to engineer any kind of meaningful political opposition to the dominant parties of old.

And of course, their opponents on the left. The Nihilist Party, who have moderated somewhat of late and have stopped murdering and raping random constituents and colleagues across the country and have decided in the interests of pragmatism to calm down for a bit and put down the M16s and flamethrowers. There is talk of selling out and the abandonment of the core vote, but these dissident voices have been hushed. For now...

The Anarchy Party logo | The Nihilist Party logo

At last, the people have a real choice. And it's great because anyone can become a member. You don't have to pay subs, fill in a form, take time off work to get involved or have a lot of money. This is not least because you don't have a job, as jobs have been abolished with everyone fending for themselves in subsistence glory - it's because to get involved in politics, all you have to do is go outside, rip something up and tear down the street like a wild banshee screaming threats and assaulting passers-by. What's more, because the judiciary have been killed and there is no such thing as the fascist 'rule of law' anymore, there's no such crime as Arson. You can really climb up the slippery pole of politics a lot quicker by pouring kerosene over more valuable objects and setting them on fire. This will likely lead to a rapid promotion. You could be an MP!

Now you see, Parliament, ironically, has been kept in place in this modern era of ours. This is for several reasons, all historical. When the Nihilists and Anarchists first fought their battles for democracy all those years ago, they stormed the Commons and found the whole building to their liking. There was a bar (bonus), random people to abuse and rape (great for the Nihilists, a little more concerning for the right wing more 'conservative' Anarchists, but they turned a blind eye) and most of all there was a huge secret cellar. Which was great for torturing people and locking up the traditionalists and traitors in a place where the main parties could keep an eye on them.

This may sound slightly odd from an Anarchist perspective, but the ends justify the means. How can society truly be free if we allow people who have authoritarian mind sets to run around preaching their ideas?

The election of 2099 is nearly upon us, and already footage of the campaigns have been filtering through the news networks (random groups of dishevelled swampies with cameras nicked off Japanese tourists who sadly fell from their helicopters on a safari tour of Post-Post Modern UK around a year ago)

The Anarchist Party campaign vehicle, in traditional red and black paint.

Don't be put off - this car is in perfect working order. The driver has buggered off, naturally, as to take orders from anyone is fascistic. Fuck knows where he is, but that's his right, so peace brother. The activists are off camera, but I can accurately report that they are in fact just several feet away pissing down a gutter and preparing a few Molotov cocktails to distribute through the townships. A local campaign team, hard at work in their local constituency I'm sure you'll agree.

Here's a clip of what's happening in the nearby constituency of Cunt-in-the-Wold.

Prospective Parliamentary Candidate for the Constituency
of Cunt-in-the-Wold, Mr T. Montana.
Hard at work, fighting for the bread 'n' butter issues
that matter most for the local men and women

The Nihilists, traditionally, have always taken an unorthodox style towards political campaigning. Eschewing those old fascist practises of 'canvassing' and 'telephone surveys' and other such things, the more progressive Nihilists have taken on board different mores and ethics which thus far has proven fruitful at election times.

For example, Mr Montana here will generally wake up at 8am, check his supply, set a few bombs off across town (great for the demolition of old, wasteful housing stock), murder some ungrateful members of staff and even his own family (great for the carbon footprint and overcrowding, always a vote winner) get very high and jack off to some snuff movies before taking a shit down the gullet of his valet. By teatime, he's up for a jacuzzi, a few cigars and a Rodgers & Hammerstein musical. Nothing low brow about the Nihilist Party campaign, I assure you.

But they have a great deal to contend with, in Mr Red, the Leader of the Anarchist Party.

Mr Red, Boss of the Anarchists (prefers
to be called by his affectionate nickname,
The Cunt

As you can see, The Cunt is so busy on the stump at the moment, he hasn't time to clean the bird shit off his hat. A sure sign of dedication to his cause. His Party's policies include shouting lots and burning down more buildings, waving lots of flags about, destroying any symbol or evidence of structure and organisation, including his own party and basically trying to run a country without anyone having to take on any form of responsibility.

He has a tough task this year however, as voters are increasingly inclined to listen to the Nihilists. The Anarchists are increasingly seen by the electorate as being a touch 'right wing' and outmoded. The in vogue Nihilists are winning over the people with promises of implementing the utmost exploitation of humans, wanton random destruction, rape, pillaging and violence, and a general position of fucking over anything that moves.

Some people in the Nihilist Party, particularly on the right of the party, want there to be a leader to take the party's aims forward, and there are even some that advocate a cessation of all baby raping and national broadcasting of people being forced to eat shit for 24 hours non-stop. But so far these extremist voices have been suppressed by the majority who think such moves are silly in today's society.

Democracy, people, at last reigns supreme. I would compare the successes of our modern age to the failures of the past, but I can't. All the books have been burned. Fuck it. Big old bunch of fucking cuuuuuuunts!

*Please tune in next week, where we have a Question Time Special on the Anarchist-Nihilist Broadcasting Corporation Channel. The guests include author of the book 'how to make a mini-nuke and launch it further than a mile', Niles Berkley. Magician, Composer and Tarot Card reader, Hilda Birchwood-Smythe. The political architect and genius of the Forcing Land from Scum Landowners revolution, Jeremiah Cockforth. And that old regular face, Fred 'the rapist' Smith from Barnsley.

Thanks for tuning in, you cunts.