Bit of a random one for you today, readers.
To be honest, I'm sick to the back teeth of politics at the moment. What else is there to say, when you think about it? They're all cunts, the system is shit and there's not much we can do about it bar insurrection and armed revolution (any takers on this idea, feel free to email me and I'll thumb through my diary for a spare weekend of gunslinging and bloodshed).
So, I want to have a quick chortle about this story in today's Daily Hate (online edish). It's about the public dismay that has met Marks and Spencer's recent decision to reduce the amount of time you can return an item from 90 days, to 35 days.
Apparently, before 2005 you could take something back to Marks and get a refund or exchange regardless of how old the item was. When that was capped, it caused a stir. Now middle England is positively reeling at the news. Little wonder the Mail has decided to report this new shock to its readers.
According to the piece, here's a reaction from one Marks and Sparks devotee:
Mrs Read, from Beaconsfield said 35 days was too short a time.
She said: 'I had lost a lot of weight and needed to buy a whole new wardrobe. I bought two dresses of similar design, but different colours at the end of June.
'I decided to return one, but thought it would be fine to leave it until I came back from my summer holiday because I have never had any problem taking things back to M&S.
'However, when I returned to the store in August I was told that I had missed the deadline for a return. I couldn't believe it, I had no idea items had to be taken back within 35 days and other people don't seem to know about it either.
'I felt like I was treated very badly. I was told the receipt was no longer valid, but that I could have a refund of £15 which was the price the dress had been reduced to in the sale.
'It was very stressful. I had a terrible headache and felt quite ill. I nearly collapsed in the store and they had to call a First Aid helper for me.'
Now, I'll start off with this little observation: how the fuck can anyone possibly think it normal take an item back to a shop, unless it becomes quickly apparent that it is faulty, the wrong size or it is no longer needed? I've never understood this, and from what I can tell, it's a weird, suburban, middle aged, got-to-much-time-on-their-hands, woman thing.
If I buy something, and it needs taking back, here's what happens: I don't fucking bother. Unless, of course, the person who realised it needed taking back was Dame Demetriou. In which case I'd be forced against my will to take it back.
But it wouldn't take me a fucking month to do it - and I'm a lazy cunt.
What the fuck is wrong with this docile dick-head nation? You want a quarter of a year in which to retrieve a garment (most likely used, you lying cunts) of clothing, covered in dust and moth bites, so you can take it back to the shop so some mug can buy it, unaware of the fact it's been in your musty wardrobe dangling above your snoozing cat.
Why? You shop at Marks. Chances are, you're from the burbs and don't do much. How have you not found the time to return the item in under a month?
Mrs Reid, above, who looks to have had an aneurism over 30 fucking notes worth of tat, appears to feel she was 'treated very badly', and she is also miffed that no-one knew about the change in policy.
Boo fucking hoo!
Oh, no! Pass me a handy kleenex wipe, I'm about to pop a duct. It's just not fair. Marks should be ashamed. They should have written a telegram to each and every person who has shopped there over the last 40 years, telling them of their new, shameful policy. Allowing a good 2 years grace before it came into effect, of course.
Naturally, they owe Mrs Reid compensation for the PTSD they have wreaked upon her soul, as a result of the cruel offer of only a £15 refund for the dress that ought to have been returned earlier, but wasn't, because of the lack of telegram.
In fact, M&S are so evil, I think there's only one thing for it.
I'll be shopping there in future. Because:
A) I'm evil, too.
and
B) 35 days is a fucking nice amount of time within which to buy an item, and take it back if it sucks.
Cheers for the heads up, bitches.
12 comments:
yep it is
Normally if something sucks you spend no time getting rid of it back to the store if you are after a refund or exchange.
How can someone who advocates gun control also advocate armed insurrection?
No wonder M&S nearly fucking sank.
She had a terrible what in the store? And she felt quite what? And then she nearly fucking collapsed? You gotta be shitting me.
How the fuck has this selfish bitch lived long enough to be able to make purchases for herself, or even cross the road for that matter, if she is so woefully fragile?
I've a hunch that she may be a spoilt, melodramatic liar.
It certainly makes the political mad rush toward building a risk and passion free country more understandable, though. Because pompous, self-centred fucktards like this demand the rest of us to fall into line with her personal utopia, the cunt.
I've said it before ... we used to laugh at Mary Whitehouse. Now her clones are dictating policy.
Daft bitch.
My heart fucking bled for her.
Why are people so totally fucking stupid?
Not just a few, but about 99% of the cunts.
Time for a cull.
"How can someone who advocates gun control also advocate armed insurrection?"
I'd have thought the answer to that one quite obvious.
Pedant: You as well as the fucking BBC - the past tense of "wreak" is "wrought".
Actually both are correct
http://onlinedictionary.datasegment.com/word/wreak+havoc
The good news is that she's going to suffer a complete coronary failure the first time something of consequence happens to her.
Shouldn't be long now...
By the way, why do you persist in perusing the Faily Dail?
It baffles me. If shit winds me up, it pays to stay the hell away from it.
Hi John,
As a former M&S employee, this story really strikes a chord! Your analysis of the story is just brilliant, and hilarious!
One incident we had at our store was where we (through our own fault) had left a security tag on an item of clothing a women bought. She spilled the ink from the security tag on the garment, whilst trying to remove the tag at home.
So, understandably, she returned to the store to seek refund/compensation - and quite right. She got both, but in the event was unhappy with the amount of compensation she was given (can't remember the exact amount as I wasn't witness to this). In the end, through protestation, she managed to wheedle twice the amount of compensation out of us that she would normally be entitled to, as well as the refund. Then, here comes the good bit....she also wanted £300 from us because she had recently had her carpet shampooed. Naturally, the manager's response to this was "did you spill the ink on the carpet also?"....then came the response "NO, BUT I COULD HAVE DONE!"...so she wanted compensation to the value of a carpet that HADN'T been ruined. We did not give in to this ludicrous demand (thank fuck!) and she stormed out of the customer service area, saying "JUST WHAT I EXPECT FROM MARKS AND SPENCER!!"...it made me think, then why does the silly cow shop here, if she expects "bad" service?
My friend also works for Laura Ashley as a Line Manager. She has also recognised the kind of customer in this story and brands them "SAC's"....an acronym for Self-Absorbed Cow"! I think "Self-Absorbed Cunt" is more appropriate.
Thanks for putting this up John, nice to hear stories on political blogs that make you laugh, for a change.
Richard.
Oh and another thing, you're absolutely right that people try it on at the refund desk all the time, the lying twats.
Richard.
It used to be a great way of getting at your monthly salary when you got paid by cheque.
Go to M&S, buy jacket by cheque, go and have a coffee, return jacket for refund in cash.
You young buggers with your plastic cards...
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