The dystopian hellscape of modern Britain

Sometimes I feel like the Terry Gilliam character in the 1988 classic 'The Adventures of Baron Munchausen'. Except rather than having fun by trotting round the universe, blowing shit up and rescuing people, I'm locked up for life in some mad Turkish Sultan's dungeon reading through the health and safety pamphlet that comes with the evening gruel.

Modern Britain has, for me, at the fairly young age of 30, very quickly become unpleasantly surreal. I usually like surreal. But really, this has gone past surreal, and no matter how many times my opponents attempt to lampoon libertarians like me for scaremongering talk about 'Orwellian Britain', I will continue the just fight on this blog: because things are very quickly going very wrong.

It is clear that things are only going to get worse. The remedy, should it come, will arrive in a nasty, gut-wrenching vial that will make us violent and sick.

"Berthold! Do me a favour will you old chap, and get me the fuck out of this country?"

Today, and just today mind (I tend to try and document this stuff as and when I see it in the press), I noticed a couple of stories that made me want to do several illegal things in quick succession (credit to Mr B. for bringing one of these to my attention on our 'lunch-break of banter').

According to this Telegraph piece here, a Housing Association called Richmond Housing Partnership (RHP) has banned residents from putting hanging baskets outside their homes. Offenders will have the baskets removed, and to retrieve them will cost £25. 

Why? Health and Safety, of course. Because, as you know, flowers in a bed of peat hanging outside a wall is an obvious catastrophic mass risk to humanity.

What prompted this move, apparently, was something that always prompts arrogant, retarded and despicable infringements on peoples' civil liberties: one incident of something going wrong. Yet still, there is nil evidence that hanging baskets had anything to do with the recent South London fire that has allegedly promulgated RHP's decision.

The irony here, as if there were only one irony, is that RHP are sponsoring...Richmond in Bloom. A gardening competition, where some of the residents affected by this bullshit may be taking part.

The second story I picked up today was the one about police in Richmond (bizarre coincidence), who have decided to alert car owners to the dangers of theft from unlocked vehicles by, er, entering private vehicles and making off with valuables. To prove a point, like.

Yes, you heard it right - the police have decided to pour resources into targeting the law abiding and stealing their stuff, in order to raise awareness of the dangers of leaving stuff out on show. 

Why? A leap in vehicle theft of 40% in the area. Yeah. Good reason that.

So if you're a car owner in Richmond, and you come back to your jam jar to find stuff gone, you'll be grateful to realise the presence of a note kindly telling you that if you want your stuff back, you can pop along to Twickers police station and get it. How very kind! It's OK, though. There's no £25 charge.

This story is nothing new - not long ago there was a story in the press about useless PCSOs and their similar strategy of climbing into peoples' homes and pottering about in order to alert people to the dangers of burglary.

Well, money making motive or no, the hanging basket ban and the bonkers police story form part of a general trend. A disgusting, outrageous and unacceptable trend where the law abiding and the normal are victimised and hassled, and where wrong doers are ignored and justified.

"I found him in an unlocked car in Richmond. Now he's mine. All mine...you're a little cutey, aren't you? I'll name you 'Pee-Wee'"

Can people not see what is happening here? The State has the upper hand. We are all being made into their bitches. Why? Because, by virtue of us being the law abiding citizens who want to get along and get by without fuss, we are easy meat. We pay up when told to pay up, we get into our hutches and eat and drink what we're told, and when. We are told what and how to consume, what is acceptable and what is not, and what is safe and what isn't.

In Modern Britain - YOU HAVE NO CHOICE

The police car theft and burglary stories are particularly irksome. Because not only is it extremely patronising and legally dodgy to do what they are doing, it is wrong for the following reasons:

• While they are spending time pissing around with gimmicks like this, there are less police about to do the job of, er, policing.
• There is no evidence to show that these daft schemes will work, and that they will make people who don't lock up, lock up.
• The message is: you don't know what's good for you, so we - the State - must come along and rub your nose in it like a dog in shit, just to drive the point home.
• The focus is on the citizen, not the criminal or potential criminal - the police are taking the line that it is the actions of the citizen that are in question, not the thief.
• By targeting the citizen, the police are sending the message that the act of theft is less morally wrong, and the absent-mindedness of the citizen is more questionable.
• By emphasising security, the police reinforce the message that low crime days are over, and that it is hopeless to even consider making society open, warm and safe.

Let me tell you something. Whenever I return to Cyprus, I notice something quite odd - many, if not most, people don't bother locking up their shit. I'll be sat there, having a coffee and a fag, reading the paper, and someone will park their car and leave the keys in the ignition and bumble off for a bit.

Guess what? No-one comes along to nick the car, because there aren't as many thieving scum bags there as there are here. The same goes for scooters, bicycles and even homes. There is still, though this is slowly fading, a culture in Cyprus where people don't automatically assume that their stuff will get taken and that if it does, it's their fault for not being security conscious enough.

This country used to have that - then the socialists fucked it all, and we gave up trying to restore things to a decent state of affairs. So we have what we have now: a situation where if something goes wrong, it's because the individual citizen is a silly tosser who needs the guiding, helpful hand of the State to lead him deeper into the sanctuary of his cave.

A situation where private property is less and less important, and where the state should either own it, or withdraw from its responsibilities in protecting it in return for tax.

In modern Britain, tax is something you cough up, not for anything in return, but because you should be grateful for the 'donation'. Cameron's Tories along with the other two traitor parties will have you down as an extremist were you to question the logic of the over-dominant State - a State that will only become more monstrous and perverted as time goes by.