There's no place like home

I don't often think about Judy Garland, but there are times, whilst out there on the frosty plains of the big, wide web, I cast my mind back to those immortal words...

There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like...Boatang & Demetriou.

AUNTIE EM! AUNTIE EM! Please don't feed me to the angry wolves on Daily Mail Island! Help! The wicked witches are coming, Jesus Fuck I can see Rebekah Wade, on a stick, through the trees, with Toynbee on the back, and somewhere there's a herd of wild Heffers storming towards me AUNTIE EM! Where the fuck are you?

I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me there!

Anyway, here's a little picture to set the appropriate wistful temperament of the piece.

See her thinking about 'Auntie Em', and home and bollocks like that? That's me (except I'm a bloke that doesn't dress like a woman) after engaging in online debate with people on the Guardian and Hitchens's blog. And you know what I'm thinking? Yep! You guessed it. I'm thinking about my beloved home. BoatangDemetriou dot com.

Because you see folks, I don't have to wait for hours on end for some faceless moderator to decide what to do with the manifestation of my free speech. I am the fucking mod. I'm the fucking Paul fucking Weller of fucking mods, and when I want to spunk my ideas all over the place, like a deranged wanking one of these.

I fucking well will.

No one to tell me what to do, a firm partnership with my co-genius Mr Boatang, and the ability to speak freely. These things are no to be sniffed at. It wasn't long ago women were forced to scrub endless linen, gays were beaten the fuck out of because they disobeyed the Daily Mail mantra of giving up 'unhealthy' lifestyles, most people couldn't vote, and if you lived for 5 years without being called up to serve in an impossible, blood spurting war, you'd had a good run of it now get back to yer mill, me laddy.

We are lucky people. We live in democratic times in Britain. What an ironic shame, that because we enjoy many freedoms, we take them for granted and fail to treasure them - leading to cracks appearing in the edifice.

And so my friends, as I stand underneath this here blessed portico of my hallowed domain, I salute all, whatever your views, for speaking. You are welcome here any time. And when I leave the snug safety of my 'Taz Cave' in order to venture my views elsewhere, I shall carry with me the brolly of democracy, the raincoat of freedom, and the scarf of liberty.

For outside of B&D, who knows what you will encounter. Behind every green, lush hill, lies a dormant ogre, ready and waiting to bundle you into the haystack and rob your shoes.

Ta Ta

John Demetriou